The Scaffolding of Life

I was chatting with a friend of mine who is in the middle of going through a divorce after a long marriage. The details are not important about how or what. You go through life next to someone. Doing things with them. Making memories with them.You start building yourself off of them, and they build off you.The structure of your lives inevitably grows together. The metaphor of the ceremony in many ways becomes the truth. Structure grows bigger, stronger trough trust and communication. If that's lost the structure starts to become askew.Then, one day, it's gone. It might not be in an instant, but over a period of time... but the structure onto which you affixed your life is suddenly gone. All of the shared memories -- which you still have -- are now half gone. You have the memory, but the structure is different.Ennie and I have been married for about as long as they had been, and together for quite a few years before that. I can honestly say that it would be harder than I think I would be able to deal with.I don't know how someone goes through that. I know it happens every day. Most marriages, hell relationships in general, don't last... but the numbers don't make it easier for the people involved.I'm a fixer by nature. If I see something wrong chances are that I'll try to fix it for you. If you tell me something's amiss I'll likely try the same. I can't fix this.All anyone can do is offer a bit of the now missing support.

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